Miguel Veloso ticks all the Portuguese midfielder boxes: He's young, he's skilful, he's got a trendy mullet and he's massively overpriced.
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Sporting Lisbon want £16m for him, and Veloso's agent would have you believe Arsenal and Manchester United are both prepared to pay full whack. Tottenham also want in.
Rather than engage in a bidding war, Fergie, Arsene Wenger and Juande Ramos are expected to settle the matter I gentlemanly fashion - via a game of conkers (Fergie soaks his in vinegar; Arsene paints them with nail varnish; Juande Ramos treats his with chorizo oil).
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